I ended up having whiplash from skating. Not stoked. On my way home from one of many, many doctor visits, I eluded heavy traffic to take a shit at my brothers house. Upon arrival, he started showing me his new toy. The new Vudu movie craze. I don’t really know what the hell it is, but he wow’d me with the latest “download this movie at HDX quality” blah blah blah. It’s pretty interesting (I guess) for someone that watches a butt load of movies and wants the theatrical experience at home. His system is pretty slamming. I bet his neighbors are bummed. Anyways, I saw the difference in audio this, the difference in HD vs. SD that. Whoopy freakin doo! And then, holy shit…then he clicked a button, entered in a four-digit code…and to my splendid glory…the mother ship of all porn landed! I’m talking every porn imaginable. Whomever thought this one up just shut down all your Edison’s, Carver’s, Eastman’s. etc. I mean, “FUCKING WOW!!!” You can scroll through countless adult adventures at the touch of a button. And I’m not talking your everyday latest upload to redtube or tube8. I’m talking high quality, full feature, larger than life experience. I’m claiming this is the closest you can get to the real thing without the threat of ghonnahepesyphilaids. Where do I sign up?! I haven’t been this excited since I learned that I’m not the only one in the world that thinks life is a joke. So, MIke, if you read this, next time you go on vacation, cover the furniture in plastic because I’m house sitting (for your house’s protection of course)! Life has come along way from scrambled skinnemax!

Side note: If my brother’s girlfriend reads this post… I MADE IT ALL UP!